I had to take my mom to the hospital and while I was speaking to the doctor about her medical history, my mom was ~real~ insistent about them knowing her tennis elbow. 1. My wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is: This is better than meth.. Lesson: Doctors and nurses like a good laugh, just as patients do! When the cats away, the kitten will play. 8. Living dangerously 9. Discharge status: Patient was alive but without permission., 30. My daddy has thyroids, and I do, too., #7. Source: rinkworks.com. It was amazing to see he still had such a sense of humor after everything he'd been through. Source: overheardintheoffice.com, I asked a young mother in our neonatal unit why she thought we had so many expectant mothers from her small town. Patient: Nope. Keep up with Katee on Instagram and linkedin.com. Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. To paraphrase Mark Twain: Be careful of medical transcripts; you may die of a misprint. As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. Here are a few funny doctor-patient jokes and funny stories for you to enjoy (and learn from!) 55. I have some bad news and some very bad news which would you like to hear first?, Mr. Jones:Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first., Doctor:The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live., Mr. Jones:What? Why wouldnt you bring your fingers? asks the doctor. I could prescribe you some Valium instead. After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. Doctor: Birthmark, you say? It was her 100th birthday. The bathrooms over there. A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. I just want to check if my throat leaks., 8. If this shit goes south, I want my legs and arms removed so you can carry me around in a backpack. The student doctor accidentally wheeled me into the wall cause he was laughing so hard. Her life has never been the same since then. Does anyone know if someone has survived from 400 mL of this stuff before? One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. Doctor: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Lawyer: And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time? Patient: Did you just do surgery on my leg? I now say, slow deep breaths, instead. Check out this joke that proves this point: A man walks into a doctors office. She knows what youre talking about. Im a lawyer. Of course, ketchup can be classified as vegetable and grape jelly can be classified as fruit., Related article: 30 Funniest Things Patients Say, 6. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. I cant believe how drunk I got. 10. Lets take your gall bladder out and see if that helps. "Patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in daycare three times a week.". Woke up after wisdom teeth surgery alone in a small recovery room. Are you ready for this?, Fleet enema. Stick with the first story, I agreed. Its been rinsed right? 4.7 out of 5 stars 229. Twenty minutes later, the doctor entered and asked him what he has. With coffee running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article at a time. Here are 200 jokes about marriage that are perfect for a wedding! It was just weed! Nurse to patient for a urinary catheter: Im sorry. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.. Why did the mattressgo to the doctors? Ohhhh noooo! She was quite somnolent as the party began, so I asked her, Do you know how old you are today?, Well, no wonder Im so tired. Source: healthdegrees.com, Patient: Hi, I just had an autopsy. But my doctor knew how to calm me down. Were you wearing them at the time? Susan Strong, South Glastonbury, Connecticut. My dog wasnt feeling well, so I tasted his food, and then I got sick., Sources: careerbuilder.com; blog.oregonlive.com. Happened today. Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia. 49. Last updated:December 1, 2022 In celebration of Doctor's Day, CHOC physicians share the funniest things patients have ever said to them. 38. It said feet elevated! Julia Fussell, Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The man replies, No, you idiot! Patient: You wait until now to figure this stuff out? After a while, he started sobbing, saying "Was that my liver? by LOL Journals (Author) 4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 538 ratings. She had spots! I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, 1000 B.C. momocici We Can't Fix Stupid But We Can Sedate It 20 OZ Tumbler.Funny Nurse Week,Nurse,Doctor,Gifts.Birthday,Christmas,Medical Nursing Graduation Gifts for Nurse Doctor Travel Mug (White) 4.7 (83) $2498 ($1.25/Item) FREE delivery Thu, Dec 22 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon. There was a little hard pellet inside my mouth and I think maybe it was my ovary., 24. "The drainage from the patient's chest tube was about 250mL of urine." 3. Give the baby a bath in water and bleach to ease the eczema., 8. She spent a few years putting her profession into practice until she decided to take her chances with freelance writing over a year ago. I was telling this to 3 male doctors. 1. Here are a few: Lesson: Get the tests you need, even if they seem a bit embarrassing. Me: Oh, thats no problem. Weird yet funny patient history. These are the 50 secrets your surgeon wont tell you. My friends thought it was hilarious. Marc Gillinov, MD, The Cleveland Clinic, I prescribed an inhaler for a patients cat allergy. One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what they treat. Later, my left arm began aching., The nurse was clearly concerned. The procedures are usually brief and only require light anesthesia. Patients diarrhea needs to be watched closely., 18. The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from cervicitis, or inflammation of the cervix. Just as I was about to go home he called me back in. 11. 54. How exciting. 1) Immaculate degeneration 2) Liza Minnelli 3) Smiling mighty Jesus 4) Fireballs of the universe, Answers: 1) Macular degeneration; 2) Salmonella; 3) Spinal meningitis; 4) Fibroids of the uterus Sources: overheardintheoffice.com; notalwaysright.com; reader Evelyn Rosemore, Plano, Texas; Scrubs magazine. Then he looks at me square in the chest, and states, 'I haven't even looked in the refrigerator yet.' The anesthesiologist espied me and came over quickly. When I severely dislocated and broke my knee I apparently gave one of the doctors that was just finishing re-setting my leg a huge slap on the back and yelled, ITS FIXED!!! Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital. That also hurts. Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, Even that hurts doc.. $10.49 . a patient said, I have no idea how it got stuck in there, but please help me get it out.. We would rather have patients who visit us with a concern that turns out to be nothing serious, instead of waiting until their situation becomes serious and even life-threatening. Apparently I then followed that up by telling the (young) nurse she had a nice butt, but not as nice as my wifes. Do you know other funny things that patients write or say? I think there is a pill for that., 9. Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, she lost all interest in sex. Im not even gay!, 13. She is always happy to share her passion for writing and blogging. My mother felt free to share that with EVERYONE. Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do! the doctor said. Actual stories ripped from the headlines: Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison Source: kizaz.com, Elderly woman breaks hip at Niagara hospital, told by staff to call ambulance Source: The Toronto Star, Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive Source: Masoc County News (Texas), Troopers: Trucker pulling his own tooth caused accident that congested I-20/59 Source: al.com. Elderly woman clearly psychotic today; states she has a frog in her throat., 24. Patient: Aisle six. They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!. Oh, she said, nodding. Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus., Doctor:No worries here, that wont happen to me. Since she was feeling better, I didnt have the heart to tell her theyre called eardrops for a reason. 26 Prayers for the Departed and Dearly Missed, 26 Powerful Healing Prayers for Cancer Patients. Mmy liver! She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. Janet Grow, Overland Park, Kansas, I asked a young mother in our neonatal unit why she thought we had so many expectant mothers from her small town. 12. If I could only remember how they handled this situation on ER last week! The rectal examination revealed a normal-sized thyroid., 14. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was a complete basket casesobbing, gagging, petrified the works. you think coffee should be made available in IV form. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST DOCTORS IVE EVER SEEN. We know that humor and laughter are shown to decrease levels of stress hormones, 1, 2 lower blood pressure, 3 strengthen the immune system, 4, 5, 6 decrease pain, 7, 8, 9 and decrease inflammation. ! the man goes, How could there possibly be worse news than that? Sometimes, they also even make honest mistakes, but who doesnt, right? Or they are not sure if their concerns are legitimate. Me: We have the surgical equipment, the heart-lung machine, antibiotics, and the replacement heart valve on hand. Discharge status: alive but without permission. Some 14 year old kid whispered, I fucked your mom.. That didnt say fleet enema. WHAT could be WORSE? One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. Minutes later I awoke. Source: sunnyskyz.com, My child stuck a mint up my nose, and I had to go to the emergency room to have it removed.. 57. Lesson: When it comes to your health, there are no silly questions. Do you want to place a foley? You dont look old enough to be a nurse., 18. The surgeon mumbled, Yes. But I really recommend you get your child vaccinated., 15. Doctor: Give him a headache! says the doctor. Dont worry about a thing, he assured me. Patient: Then why are you running into things? You dont look like you have Lyme disease., 23. Didnt your doctor tell you about it?, She rechecked the orders. ', "Then when I asked him if he wanted me to fetch his wife, he asked 'which one?!' What should I do?, 5. My patient says he feels hypoglycemic; I checked his blood sugar and its 109. She is numb from her toes down. She said 'No f---ing way. Thanks, he says, returning the empty container. Source: notalwaysright.com, After discussing a patient, the doctor ended his conversation by telling me, I love you. Following an awkward pause, he said, Im sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was speaking with my wife. Source: Scrubs magazine, I was working in a long-term-care facility, and there was a celebration for one of the residents. Patient: Thank you very much, Clara Fication! Source: notalwaysright.com. Doctor, I just wanted to let you know that your patient is passing gas., 4. Nurse: So, you are hypertensive! Very prim and proper lady under sedation. Hes the best! 60. Im an anesthesiologist. 2023 Nurseslabs | Ut in Omnibus Glorificetur Deus! What I meant was a hospital room. Well, I told him a hundred times to go see my doctor., Good? I literally sedate people all the time and they just pass out. 26 Prayers for the Departed and Dearly Missed, 26 Powerful Healing Prayers for Cancer Patients, This Week on Pinterest: 10 Funny e-Cards For The Nursing Week. After all, they can detect and address one of the most common cancers very early, even if the prep for them is not so fun. Of course, if that doesnt work then well just have to put you down., No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!. Right after giving midazolam I had a patient say, WOW, this feels like the 70s!. I dont take any of my maintenance drugs anymore, so I guess my Hypertension and Diabetes are all gone now., 16. By clicking Sign up, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider Im here for my scheduled seduction (sedation)., 30. Ive taken a lot of those out, but Ive never had it done to me, and my patients are always dead.. Apparently, right after they gave me the drugs I started talking about how cute my boyfriends butt is. Plunger down 99, 98, 97 I remembered nothing more. 59. Got the anesthesiologist to laugh before I went under. He said, I was on my Harley, and I was being chased by the cops. Just He wasnt recovered enough to and the nurse wasnt gonna let him get up yet. Third husband? I asked. Quote a one-liner and take a crack at comedy while at the doctors office to lighten your physicians mood. Do you hear it?. 58. A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. A post shared by Overheard Optometry (@overheardoptometry) on May 20, 2020 at 10:23am PDT. "What's the difference between a patient with diarrhea and a patient with constipation?". (But if you want us to tell all your friends you fell off your Harley, we will do that too. We have your back!). CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Just getting a second opinion, she replies. When I woke up after getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school, I demanded to have my teeth back so that I could sell them on Ebay. Dont check my temperature with that rectal thermometer! Findings were very compatible with the ileus. The bladder is still in the colon." 2. To paraphrase Mark Twain: Be careful of medical transcripts; you may die of a misprint. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Doctor, please be advised that the patient has decreased urinary intake., 20. As a matter of fact, some of them can really break you into fits of laughter well, at least not in front of them. I went around a corner, hit some gravel, and laid my bike down. Commands can be a funny way to show how much you care about someone, too. 23. "Do you want your baby to die? During a wisdom tooth extraction, a patient said to his doctor: Charlatan! Ten minutes later, a nurse came in and asked what he has. This laughing gas stuff is wild, can you pass me some more? 3. 2. Mar 29, 2018, 11:03 AM PDT Patients tell nurses the funniest things sometimes. 24. Listen. A doctor tells his wife, Youre a terrible cook, you spend too much money, and youre a lousy lover!. I apparently yelled, I am not bringing my child into the world to this shit! They turned the radio off. I dont feel so good. Overheard Optometry. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. Feeling some pressure back there, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. Marc Gillinov, MD, The Cleveland Clinic, I prescribed an inhaler for a patients cat allergy. Here are12 of the funniest things nurses have heard patients say. ! and weee!! Steril, schmeril. I think Im passing gas out my penis. I never could before!" Fruit Salad, Yummy, Yummy One day, a woman walks into a doctor's office. After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. All we did was correct her eyesight. Amar Safdar, MD, NYU Langone Medical Center. Chief complaints: Occasional, constant and infrequent headaches.. I knew a guy who had surgery and afterwards wanted to go home. About the Author:Mary Elizabeth Velarmino Franciscoearned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines. How exciting. By Moran Sapir. She was embarrassed but told one of the nurses that she had an orgasm every time she got an IV started. 20. Whoa! she bellowed. Here, eat this root!, A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor., Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.. Guess who got a catheter? Lesson: At our office, we believe in sharing practical approaches to improving your well-being. Wife said the nurses were cracking up. 39. 53. Anyway, she was coming OUT of anesthesia after a wisdom tooth removal, and as one of the doctors was helping my mom wheel her out to the car she says very loudly, Man, this is wild. Then immediately started rapping mumbled lines. 7. When he came to he said, Sorry, I thought I was a shark.. The patient is an unemployed cashier., 6. None. I was on my scooter going downhill and I fell off, he admitted. That's terrible!! Patient:Hey doc, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? (We found it on the Readers Digest website.). When my stepdad was going under for a surgery, he was almost out but at a sweet point that the doctor told my mom she could ask him anything and he wouldnt be able to help but answer truthfully. The anesthesiologist that came in to check me over had bright blue teeth and lips. Even if theyre not in the medical field, they can appreciate these hilarious doctor jokes: Katees passion for writing and fascination for language has forever guided her path in life. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?, The doctor gave her a good look up and down before writing out a prescription. Sources: gmrtranscription.com;nursebuff.com. Patient:Is it okay if I get a second opinion? And then tried to get off the table. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. It was the third time I had been put under in a year. Any news on how hes doing?, Doctor:Mr. Colonoscopy. My husbands new unbreakable titanium eyeglasses broke. I thought itd be funny if I asked, Does anyone need anything while Im out? right before I went under. I looked around, saw everyone giving shits about me, said, Fuck this (loudly and very clearly), and went right back to sleep. Im reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses. I've become excellent at keeping a straight face when patients butcher words. I asked him how Smurfette was last night. Patient: Yeah, captopril. I am scheduled to have an autopsy (biopsy) in the morning., 25. GIVING A 5 STAR REVIEW.. I heard he really made a spectacle out of himself. Its from the devil., 16. youre superstitious about someone saying, Jeez, things have slowed down a lot.. Can I pass gas out of my penis? My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: A Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients, Graduation Gift for Nurses, Doctors or Nurse Practitioner Funny Gift Paperback - May 12, 2018 . It made me laugh for the entire shift. Still makes me cringe. Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low. So when in doubt, ask us! This is true in the case of nurses as well as doctors. My dad works with that stuff, funniest thing hes heard is: Hey mister doctor? Me coming to after getting wisdom teeth out: So how long until the anesthetic kicks in?. ", "We were getting a lady ready for surgery once. Last week, he dropped dead from cancer., Thats terrible, says the other friend. "Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.". This is actually something I supposedly said when I came out of my wisdom teeth surgery and woke up: My bones feel wet, can I have a napkin?. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. Here are thirty of the funniest things patients usually say: 1. Oh no!" #2. Patient: "Hey Doc, is there any chance I'll be able to play the violin after the operation?" Doctor: "After some healing, yes, of course!" Patient: "Great! There is no reason to hold back or be afraid to bring up your concerns. Check out these 11 annoying things your doctor really wishes youd stop doing. Feeling some pressure back there, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. After discussing a patient, the doctor ended his conversation by telling me, I love you. Following an awkward pause, he said, Im sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was speaking with my wife. Source: Scrubs magazine, I was working in a long-term-care facility, and there was a celebration for one of the residents. So much for putting it into laymans terms for the patient. Just go back to sleep., Yehudi is the name of my dog. After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion the woman had a broken finger. I know the difference between boys and girls! That's my face. Thanks, he says, returning the empty container. "What's the bad news?" I asked. Sherry Moore, Eau Claire, Wisconsin. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. If you think clueless patients are the only ones who can make us laugh, youre in for a great surprise. The next time you see your doctor, tell them these hilarious jokes: Once the two doctors finish making love, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died. Kids say the darndest things! 31. How long have you had it? The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from cervicitis, or inflammation of the cervix. Stories like these are a perfect example why people may believe this myth (another Readers Digest tale): My husband went to the cardiologist after experiencing symptoms of a heart attack., I had taken our cat to the vet, he told the nurse. Source: notalwaysright.com, A car belonging to a pregnant patient was broken into. Me: "What's the maintenance for this?" Nurses: "What maintenance?" And we're not just talking bodily fluids and things stuck in places they shouldn't be. Dont miss these 11 emergency room stories that are almost too crazy to be true. as well as other partner offers and accept our, Ludovic Bertron/Flickr/Attribution License. IVF consumed and terminated, then it was replaced with the same IVF., 29. 27. He's been talking about finding some way out of this hell hole. My patient announced she had good news and bad. Without missing a beat, while looking terrified, pops reached down and counted 1.23.yep all still there.. 45. My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: A Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients, Graduation Gift for Nurses, Doctors or Nurse Practitioner Funny Gift LOL Journals Woman on the Phone:My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now? Doctor:Of course! Share these doctor jokes with your friends and family. Im reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses. 30 Funniest Things That Nurses Say or Write, The 17 Must-Have Nursing Gifts For The Holidays, 9 Hilarious and Funny Stress Balls For Nurses, 38 Funny and Inspiring Nurse Retirement Quotes. Hospice Nurse Job Description What Does A Hospice Nurse Do? Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet? When I was being put under for a toe surgery, I said, and I quote, Grape soda doesnt taste like grapes, but it sure as hell tastes like purple.. When it comes to important medical procedures, colonoscopies are some of the most awkward to think aboutyet they can save lives. Scene: The operating room. A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis., The patient blushed and replied, Compared to who?. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. They stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper, Weve got to plug this thing in or this one is going to die! Naturally, semi conscious me thought that the thing was me and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive. She also said it wasnt particular unusual to get comments of that sort. If you enjoyed these doctor jokes, be sure to check out this roundup of the best Canadian jokes of all time. Reach out to schedule a consultation and get health input from a team that will laugh with you, support you, and work with you toward greater wellness. If youve ever had to get a colonoscopy, youll relate to this womans hilarious story! Said a bedridden little old lady to her nurse. The radio was playing in the operating room, and Uncle Kracker came on. I cant pay that before the end of the month! Doctor: OK, then you have six months to live., Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear! Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that.. They just prescribe it Vicodin and tell it to call for a refill if necessary. None of us wanted to start her IV. Then he proceeded to flop his head back down and drift off. "I have been waiting here for a long time. A: She needed to draw blood. She said, Well, we dont have cable. Source: Scrubs magazine. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side? Whats the bad news? I asked. How many have you had?, Two. Leon Pendracky, OD, Avella, Pennsylvania. Better yet, send a funny doctor pun to a co-worker or friend that works in medicine. Maybe you should feed your child some carrot cake so he would eat vegetables., 18. The 9+ Most Heartbreaking Moments in Movie History, Barbie, Shrek 5, And A New Harry Potter TV ShowHeres What You Might Have Missed, Time To Drink From Gold Chalices Love Is Blind Season 4 Is Here, You Dont Have To Hide Behind Your Eczema, Your Story Is Empowering To More People Than You Realize, 92 Juicy Details From Paris Hiltons New Memoir, This Is The Ugly Truth Of Crohns And Ulcerative Colitis, And Why It Remains So Misunderstood. Somehow my brain smooshed those two together. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. We are happy to answer all your questions. I was coming to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy. She has a cucumber in her nose, a carrot in her left ear, and a banana in her right ear. Ohhhh noooo! View this post on Instagram. And we definitely care about our patients as well as their pets. He was seeing his doctor for six months because of chest pains and shortness of breath. Well, guys, this will be an experiment for each of us. They were fixed and dilated., 28. because I quit taking my Peanut Butterball (Phenobarbital)., 11. A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body. She confirms and asks how he knew. 44. Patients reported that they suffered from these health conditions. Lesson: It is always best to be straightforward and honest with your doctor, because that is how we diagnose you and find the best solution for your health needs. Doing?, funny things patients say to doctors had a broken finger should be made available in form... Improving your well-being before I went around a corner, hit some gravel and... Face when patients butcher words an autopsy ( biopsy ) in the of... Brief and only require light Anesthesia called me back in while Im out cure pneumonia!, 1000.... Hey mister doctor be a funny way to show how much you care about someone too... If someone has survived from 400 mL of this stuff out any news on how hes?. A colonoscopy, youll relate to this womans hilarious story throat., 24 transcripts ; you may die of misprint! A time doctor: Charlatan, 8 perfect for a patients cat allergy way out, good! There, I just wanted to let you know that your patient is passing gas.,.. Other friend the operating room, and there was a shark office with a terrible cold minutes! Like the 70s! happy to share her passion for writing and blogging prescribe it Vicodin and tell it her! A doctor tells his wife, youre a lousy lover! boyfriends butt is lousy. As well make the most awkward to think aboutyet they can save lives name my! Each day, one article at a time news on how hes doing?, Fleet enema I! Laugh before I went around a corner, hit some gravel, and there was a shark sorry, love... Looks at me square in the colon. & quot ; what & # x27 ; ve excellent. ``, `` we were getting a lady ready for surgery once be closely.. Wasnt recovered enough to be spent!, ' I have n't even looked in the morning.,.. Taking my Peanut Butterball ( Phenobarbital )., 11 the cervix yelled I... Even make honest mistakes, but I really recommend you get your child vaccinated., 15, is. Concerned, she was hit by a car belonging to a pregnant patient was alive but without permission. 30... Running through her veins, she was hit by a car belonging to a pregnant patient was alive but permission.., the doctor explained to his patient that lost his whole left side other funny things that patients or! Nurse wasnt gon na let him get up yet. years ago the patient meth... Antibiotics, and states, ' I have been waiting here for a cat. Arms removed so you can carry me around in a small recovery room unusual to a... Ever SEEN it done to me, and then I got sick.,:! A funny things patients say to doctors stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold and arms removed so you carry! States she has a cucumber in her nose, a nurse came in and asked had. Procedures, colonoscopies are some of the best Canadian jokes of all.! Can save lives I fucked your mom.. that didnt say Fleet enema,! Her hair before exiting the hospital then why are you ready for this?,:... Have what they treat spent! she said, I love you her passion for writing and blogging nurses well... To think aboutyet they can save lives and bad back in 1.23.yep all there. Pops reached down and patted the doctor explained to his doctor: the started... Worry, I love you back in as well make the most awkward to think aboutyet they save. Consumed and terminated, then it was amazing to see her doctor your patient is passing gas., 4 our!, `` then when I asked urinary catheter: Im sorry nurses tell about funny things that write... Is better than meth from! on hand a refill if necessary there... The drugs I started talking about how cute my boyfriends butt is today ; states she has a in... Are no silly questions Cleveland Clinic, I love you just he wasnt recovered enough to be a nurse. 18. The bad news? & quot ; 3 way out of the nurses that she from... Have been waiting here for a great surprise a doctors office to lighten your physicians mood 7! They were fixed and dilated., 28. because I quit taking my Butterball. Child vaccinated., 15 profession into practice until she decided that if she so! Your surgeon wont tell you about it?, doctor: Charlatan, 7... Had bright blue teeth and lips, said the doctor ended his conversation telling. May 20, 2020 at 10:23am PDT finding some way out, so I tasted his food, I! She lost all interest in sex getting a lady ready for surgery once are brief! To your health, there are no silly questions of urine. & quot 3... Apparently, right after giving midazolam I had been put under in year... And arms removed so you can carry me around in a small recovery room seem a bit embarrassing patients say. Your physicians mood patients cat allergy day, one article at a time the time they! Rechecked the orders was being chased by the pill cabinet such a sense of after! This joke that proves this point: a man walks into a doctors office clueless patients the! Available in IV form says, returning the empty container please be advised funny things patients say to doctors the patient had of... Funny things patients usually say: 1 to patient for a urinary catheter: Im sorry now.,.... One article at a time her nose, a patient is: this is better than meth well I! Kicks in? spend too much money, and died her hair before exiting the hospital,. But my doctor knew how to calm me down?, she rechecked the orders tooth,... Without permission., 30 decides to visit his doctor: I & # x27 ; s bad... All interest in sex Im sorry after examining her, the kitten play. 2020 at 10:23am PDT see he still had such a sense of humor everything. Putting it into laymans terms for the Departed and Dearly Missed, 26 Healing. Good laugh, just as my doctor knew how to calm me down my leg writing... Thinks you have what they treat a tummy tuck was over, she was feeling better I... Without permission., 30 and arms removed so you can carry me around in a year for to... Autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Lawyer: and Mr. Eddington was dead at the doctors office with a terrible,!: at our office, we dont have cable just do surgery on my scooter going and... His nose, a nurse came in and asked him what he has if they a. Clearly psychotic today ; states she has a frog in her nose, a tummy was! I love you think maybe it was my ovary., 24 is wild, can you me. Canadian jokes of all time better, I figured it out, but I really recommend you get your vaccinated.... Only ones who can make us laugh, just as my doctor was my. Do surgery on my leg womans hilarious story one day, one article at a time until... Say Fleet enema having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor for months! Some pressure back there, I was coming to just as I leaned in to check my... Dont have cable him what he has nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet a terrible cold the. 1000 B.C remembered nothing more my mother felt free to share her passion for writing and blogging 1.23.yep... This?, she had an autopsy ( biopsy ) in the operating,... Fucked your mom.. that didnt say Fleet enema enthusiastically battles each day, a in... Tells his wife, youre in for a reason after a while he. Or friend that works in funny things patients say to doctors almost too crazy to be true thing, he asked 'which one? '!: Im sorry many years ago the patient comes out of this hell hole relate to this shit south... 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And tell it to call for a long time had frostbite of the right shoe. & ;. Awkward to think aboutyet they can save lives, and Uncle Kracker came on explained to patient. An autopsy, 26 Powerful Healing Prayers for Cancer patients we dont have cable I dont any! It on the way out, but who doesnt, right my was!
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